More Candid's of My Cuties

Liz, Dan R, and me

Kitty being creative

Naomi being musical

Dan being... Dan

Hour long skype sessions with friends...

My Weekend Thus Far

A lazy Yom Shishi for me, I skyped with my friend from home for quite a while, and then when my computer started to die so I had to go.  Most everybody was gone, so I opened a box of Girl Scout cookies and my book and read for a while.  After I got bored of that, I read through every single text since kibbutz; crazy crazy stuff.  I slept for over twelve hours and then woke up to a new day.  A clean, refreshing shower and then I made the most disgusting sandwich.  During our desert tiyul, I made sandwiches that had mustard and cucumber in them, but it turns out what is appealing to you when you're in the middle of the desert with no other options is not appealing once you're in civilization.  Josh and I then went out to Ben Yehuda and picked up some things.  I'm still looking for my ring, though.  We got some presents for Jake, but I won't say what they are here yet because of the extremely slim chance he reads this before we give them to him.
On the way back, I stopped by the mobile blood bank to ask if I could give blood, the paramedic said, "Yes, but not today, we're closing."  Not, 'no, we're closing,' but, 'yes, but not now.'  I don't think they're out there on Shabbat, but I'll try again next week.
Now we're back at the flat, but we;re getting ready to go out to the park for Ben's birthday.   Abby's got some things planned as well as food and drinks ready.  After, some of us are going to do a Kotel Dinner.  I haven't gone yet, and I'm really excited.  We'll got to the Kotel and this man organizes people like us to go to dinner with an Orthodox family.  Everybody who has gone have had mixed results, form really good eye-opening conversations to the most awkward nights of their lives.  I think it's an experience no matter what, and so I'm going to try to go tonight.  Tomorrow, Emily and Becca and I are planning on going to a science museum here, and then Emily and I are going to have a chilled-out relaxed night.
To compensate for the dry, monotony of this post, here are some pictures from recent adventures:

I took this picture of my group, look at how beautiful they all are!

The Gala Event at BFL with all my new friends!

Lovely Rosh Week Ladies on Yom Afooch

Me and Kitty, I love this picture

Tuning in around a light pole during Etgar vs. Jerusalem

"Fit the whole group in a place you wouldn't expect to fit"

Turns out I'm not as bad at bowling as I thought

That one's going to be a strike, I know it

"Get a stranger's phone number"

Weekly Report March 25th - 27th

(In the middle of the Weekly Report is the blog post immediately preceding this one, but I didn't include it here to avoid repetition)

Yom Afooch

The Shnattim started the week off right with Yom Afooch (Backwards day).  Our lovely Rosh Shavuah Tzevet, Rebekkah and Naomi, got up in the early hours of the day to put clothes on backwards and cook everyone dinner.  After the challenge of getting the masses up and ready earlier than normal, we all enjoyed a dinner of couscous, corn, pickles, and schnitzel at 8am.  Asefah was then held, and it was noticeably quieter due to the absence of any and all mechanical toy noisemakers.  We then had Hebrew, which was enlightening and educational.

A hadracha lesson with Guy and Noa left us all wondering with intelligence(s) we had.  More asefah happened, and then we headed down for Tanak, but little did they know there was a surprise waiting for them…

Surprise!  Our Tanak teacher was sick, so our beautiful Rosh Week Ladies had something in store: A scavenger hunt!  Naomi and Rebekkah sent two groups out into the wilds of Jerusalem to complete twenty tasks, which my group successfully accomplished (the other group did not).  If I remember, I’ll attach pictures from this adventure.  We had to do things like tune-in around a light pole, get a shoe, pick up trash in the Old City, sing the Netzer song, and run an obstacle course, among others.  Both groups had a really good time running around Jerusalem, and then met up in Talpiyot (one group taking taxis, the other a bus).  The plan was to meet at the mall in Talpiyot, but there are four malls in Talpiyot.  A half an hour of chaos ensued, with three different groups of people running around the entirety of Talpiyot trying to find the right mall and each other.  Eventually we met up at Burger’s Bar and shared a nice meal together.  We then traveled across the street to the mall, where Naomi and Rebekkah had a surprise for the group: Bowling!!!  Two elevators took the Shnattim up a floor (well, one group went to every single floor below, and then up to bowling).  We bowled.  The very first ball rolled (mine) was a strike, jussayin’.  Naomi was fun to watch, with her right arm in a cast.  After a plethora of strikes, spares, and gutter balls, Dan R came out on top, with Josh following a close second, and Dan A and I in third and fourth.  Ice cream and racecar games were played after, and then we started the journey home.  It started off badly, with someone (definitely not me) accidentally bumping into a parked car and setting off the car alarm.  While one group took a taxi, the others took a bus and got off at the right stop.  Beit Shmuel was right around the corner, guys, according to Dan R.  Wait, just kidding, it was actually really far away.  Oh well.  We eventually made it home, Emily made us all coffee, and five or six laptops popped open.

I sit here in the Internet Couch, gross plastic sticking to my legs and arm, next to Jake.  Jake isn’t really doing anything, just watching Dan R, who is on the other side of him, surf the web.  Alyson is on the Comfy Chair.  She’s skyping, getting the ‘dish’ from her connections back home.  Naomi sits on the couch, sucking her thumb, rolling her wrist, making cracking noises that make Alyson squirm.  Was she supposed to take her cast off already?  Probably not.  But we all trust her to handle her own breaks by this point.  Dan A sits on the Purple Couch making comments to aggravate and infuriate Alyson and humor everyone else.  Liz has gone off to bed, and who knows where Kitty went.  We usually never know where Kitty has gone.  Josh is suspected to be in the toilet right now, but no one is really sure.  Jeff and Jemma are off being treated to nicer things than our measly gap year wallets can buy.

Monday (formerly known as Sprite Day)

Monday Monday, what a day.  It all began with a lesson on history.  Well, kind of.  I woke up in the dojo, having fallen asleep in the company of Dan A, Kitty, Jake, and Jeff, alone.  A moment of confusion, and then I was on with my day.  The few steps it took to get to the kitchen enlightened me as to why my friends stole off to their beds in the middle of the night: the dojo is really uncomfortable to sleep in; I was so sore.  After a big cup of coffee and a refreshing shower, I began to detect the stirrings of my other flat mates waking up to the morning.  Dan A first, like always, then a special guest, Jess.  The rest woke up about five minutes before class at nine, which was unfortunate because we were all wrong: class was at 8:30.  We learned, we learned, and then we learned some more.  A break that was fifteen minutes long took about twenty-five minutes, and then we ventured out to the park.  The Shanttim became NASA (USA ftw!) and figured out how to survive on the moon.  We then said names of geographical places in alphabetical order, and we got all the way to X before KITTY RUINED IT ALL.  Yes, Kitty, the letter Y does exist.  We went back to class and learnt some more, and then I had my peer-led peula on Controversy within Netzer ideology.  We had a debate about whether or not Hebrew is necessary in true debate form, and then discussed how we treat the importance (or lack thereof) and how it relates to how we teach our chanichim.  I think it was the most amazing peula in the world and everybody learned so much, but maybe I think that because it was my peula.  Anyway, when we got back to the flat and every single one of us walked into the kitchen to prepare and consume our fifth meal of the day so far, people were still talking about the topic and debating it, which I take as a sign of success.  We ate, and then kept eating when Noa came over.  We all got on the Netzer bus (plastic chairs set up in our living room) with Dan R as driver.  He got to pretend to know how to drive and we were all subject to his crazy whims.  Noa took us on a Powerpoint tour of Israel and all the wonderful possibilities for Pesach, like dancing the Horah, creating a play, watching Jake swim down the hall and swimming straight into a door, and playing Sardines.  When Noa left, Naomi and Rebekkah (the most beautiful, wonderful, lovely, smart, awesome, amazing, nice, fair, and enlightening Rosh Week Tzevet of all time) went with her to have secret behind-the-scenes conversations.  Later, Dan A and Kitty joined us to discuss Tiyul Tzafon (northern trip), but first we made delicious coffee in bowl mugs.  We then discussed how much we loved the bowl mugs.  Tiyul Tzafon will be an amazing week of SURPRISE!!!  I cant tell you yet, but rest assured that it will be worth the wait.  Maybe, jokes: most definitely, there will be a t-shirt.  Maybe one for each day.  Maybe, just maybe, we’ll get Sprite Day t-shirts and all the seven other t-shirts we have planned oswoll.

The best part of the day, however, has just ended: dinner time.  Liz and Dan R cooked about forty hot dogs for about five people and a ton of fries (NOT chips).  As I sit here, there is still a big bowl mostly full of vege noknikiyot and an empty oily bowl were the fries once were.  And don’t tell Jeff, but we’re drinking Coca Cola.  Jake was the first to break Shomer Yom Sprite; he bought a Coca Cola and brought it to the park with us.  And after we got our groceries delivered to us (yes, we’re that lazy, we do our shopping online and get it delivered to our doorstep), we realized we didn’t have any Sprite, just Coca Cola.  So seriously, don’t tell Jeff.

After we finished eating, we sat around eating more fries and talking.  What did we talk about?  Well, I can’t tell you that.  But I can tell you that it was fun, disgusting, wonderful, and made us all laugh way too much for the amount of actual humor there was.

We have a few new additions to the flat:

·      Etgar poo log: I’d explain it further, but I don’t really think you want me to

·      The Rota/Roster: Kitty and I spent a good half an hour making up problems with it to fix.  It’s now perfect.

·      The Fun room poster, it’s beautiful

·      Etgar Quote Wall: it is a wall of quotes from Etgar, but you probably figured that out.

·      We moved the couches, and it doesn’t look like anyone wants to move them back, despite a couch blocking the entire hallway and a chair blocking to door to the Fun Room.

And… as I’m typing: we just came to group consensus:  big fat clean poos are the best kind of poos.

Tuesday, March 27^th

Loneliness, quiet, and solitude were the thoughts going through my mind last night.  Alyson was in Tel Aviv with her dad and Naomi and Emily were in the guest room, so I was all-alone in the room.  I don’t have loud roommates, but their presence is definitely something I have been taking for granted.  I finally fell asleep.

My infamous alarm woke me up at 8:00am, and then I went back to sleep.  I woke up again at 8:30am and got out of bed.  I went to the bathroom and put on my face, and then went to my room to clothe myself.  I realized I had no idea what the day was going to be like, so I checked the weather in Tel Aviv via the Internet.  I learned that it was going to be too-freaking-cold, and raining, so I dressed appropriately, as did the rest of Etgar.  I did the normal things, like brush my hair and put on deodorant, and then I went downstairs.  The whole group met in the lobby and waited for the bus there.  Emily and I made a bet: she thought it would take one hour for Jeff to notice I was wearing his shirt, I thought it would take three and a half hours.  When we all boarded the bus, we were greeted by Machon and were off to Tel Aviv.  Eventually, after a nap that was definitely not long enough, we arrived in Tel Aviv.  One thing I can say with complete confidence about our group is that we definitely retain our childlike sense of play: our first stop was a playground, where we went crazy on the swings and slides.  Much to our disappointment, we had to stop playing.  Our guide for the day taught us a new game, one which we all enjoyed.  It was educational, too:  Kitty told us all about the new American states: Canada and Cincinatti.  When we actually started to learn real facts, we learned about Tel Aviv and how it was formed and how it all relates to the idea of Zionism.  We walked through the park and into a neighborhood.  We saw a dog and a lot of donkeys.  Like, real donkeys (well, you could argue that they were mules, there was a debate).  We walked some more and saw a school that had afterschool and extra curricular activities run by a religious political party, Shos.  From there, we headed to a neighborhood that had been superficially renovated by one political party when they had the majority of the government.  We discussed how to change a deprived area into a thriving one.  The next place we visited was an area just next to the Central Bus Station (the biggest bus station in the world, we learned) that was the main HQ, you could say, for all the foreign workers in Tel Aviv; it, too, was a depraved area.  While we were talking about the situation the workers were in, how the world’s governments deal with it, and what should be changed, I watched a plastic bag being carried up by the wind, across a vacant lot, and into a tree in someone’s yard.  The whole vacant lot we were in looked like something you would imagine in a third world country.  A dirt lot with a carpet made of trash, and chickens picking their way through it all to find a good meal.  Destination ba’a was a park.  But not just any park.  This park was home to countless amounts of people.  These were not foreign workers; these were the immigrants and refugees.  Although not many of them will receive official refugee status from the government, they are all here, some after a desperate and life-threatening journey. They are illegal, but have a better life here than anywhere else.  We were talking about some ideas of plans to carry out so that these people wouldn’t have to live in this park, when a man walked by our group.  He seemed under the influence of something, he was slurring for sure.  The man was black and stumbling, as well.  We started yelling to us, trying to talk or start a dialogue it seemed.  Guy tried to talk to him away from the group so we could continue our discussion, but he came back and was yelling this time.  It was all in Hebrew, but we didn’t need words to detect the animosity in his message.  After a while he walked on, and we talked on.  Another occurrence of note from that park was when someone asked what all the bags and sleeping bags were for, like was another youth group here or something?  But no, those belonged to the people standing and sitting around the park, alone or in small groups.  And we were sitting in their bedroom and in their living room.  It was a surreal experience but we had to move on.  The next place we went to was a shuk for lunch.  We all got pizzur and were sent off.  I really wanted falafel, so we walked through the shuk trying to find falafel, but alas, there was none.  So we walked out to the main road and down the street until we found a suitable falafel place.  We were considering one place when the workers came out and told us ‘yesh makom lkulam bifnim,’ and I used my ever-increasing Hebrew skills to alert the rest of the group that there was space in side for us all, and we went in.  They told us to sit down and relax, and then brought us out salad, six falafels, fried potato crisp type things, and a bottle of diet Coke.  Our meal was practically catered: all the food for the most cheap!

We visited Rothschild Boulevard next, after a quick ice cream stop.  Emily and I made a pact to always tell each other if we have food on our face or other embarrassing things like that, and I am now much more comfortable in life knowing Emily is looking out for me.  We saw where the first tents that started the tent cities were, and then we did a very Netzer-y thing: we made a Big Circle With Everybody In It in the middle of a public place.  We read resources and talked for a while, but then we headed inside this very cool building.  As we walked up a story, we saw that the walls were covered in graffiti and posters and slogans.  A man met with us to talk about the tent city protests and social justice.  While the conversation was very enlightening and gave us all much more knowledge and many more ideas, the one unifying thing that happened was a movement that caused every left leg to rest on top of our neighbor’s right leg.  Don’t ask me why.  Another highlight was the meal of pizza that followed the discussion.  Of all the Yom Tnuot pizzas, I think this was the best.

Just before the pizza, however, Ben led us in a discussion about social justice and what should we do about it.  We talked for a while, and then came up with real concrete ideas that will not only make a tangible impact, but might actually happen.  Some of us are researching some ideas to determine the feasibility of our ideas and are going to put them into action at the next Yom Tnua.  We are all pretty excited for this to happen, and are equally (if not more) excited that the twenty-five of us managed to have a civil and productive conversation that happened without yelling or interruption on a mass scale.

The bus ride on the way back to Jerusalem was full of songs (Disney, rap, and everything in between) and girl talks.  The back of the bus ran the song sesh, but up at the front we girls chatted it up the whole way.

When I asked Dan R is he could have anything in the world right now, he replied with this little nugget of wisdom: ‘I’m pretty happy right now.’

I know I can’t speak for all of Etgar (despite that being the exact point of the weekly report), but the general feeling is that of happiness.

I’m sitting in the Comfy Chair sideways, which is rather uncomfortable, but from here I can see Liz on the couch, Jeff with his huge red headphones and business to do, Dan making friends with Alyson’s dad (Dan is the most friendly to strangers), and Alyson and her dad, reunited for the first time since she flew away almost six months ago.  Kitty and her skype friend on a tour of the flat, and Emily having a computer crisis.  Dan A coming in to say something odd and then leave, and Jemma running around looking confused.  Josh and Naomi are in the bathrooms, his second time and her first today according to the Poo Log.  I’m not sure where Jake is, but you can almost always find him in the kitchen or the dojo or the balcony.

The week’s not over, but we’ve had a grand ol’ time so far.

The Meaning of Life as depicted through Sour Patch Kids

The wonderful life of… Kitty and Rebekkah!!!

The best part about writing the weekly report is that I get to choose what gets said.  And we can mention each other as many times as humanly possible. From this point on, you’ll be counting the amount of times were mentioned or have written the actual report ourselves. For example, I was gone last week on a Masa Building Future Leaders Conference, and I was in the flat and thus wasn’t mentioned in the weekly report.  This week, however, I think that the following insertion written by Kitty and I should be said, and thus here it is:

Sour Patch Kids and their implications on the lives of youth

To start off this article, we’ll begin by stating the 3 things we would do for Sour Patch Kids (this is a very hot topic in the Etgar Flat currently)

Rebekkah’s List:

·      Trade my precious Skittles

·      Debate with Jeff

·      Walk anywhere near the boy’s bathroom after it’s been recently used

Kitty’s List:

·      Nothing

·      Lick peanut butter off someone’s big toe

·      Give Jake a piggyback to class down two flights of stairs to class 117.

As you can see, Rebekkah’s list contains much more perilous things than Kitty’s does.  Why is this?  Maybe it’s because Rebekkah grew up eating SPKs and thus holds much higher value to them.  She’d be willing to do much more for the taste of those delicious candies again.  Kitty, however, does not even know what she is missing. Having had someone try and bribe me with this means, I have become increasingly more interested in the supposedly delicious taste Rebekkah claims they have.  Which position is better?  To know and enjoy a luxury item and then have it taken away and dangled in front of you, or to never know and thus be indifferent to the dangling? To have loved and have lost, or never have loved at all?  Rebekkah pities poor Kitty, for she has never had the experience of tasting SPKs.  Kitty seems to think Rebekkah is a little desperate and weird, bargaining all of this for a candy.  Its really just sweets, I’m sure I can live without it, having lived a pretty average life without them thus far. As much as Rebekkah attempts to persuade Kitty, she just doesn’t get it.  And Rebekkah is becoming more frustrated; trying to describe something she thinks is so indescribably wonderful.

(Cue here: un-PC jokes about the situation when you think about it from the American kid versus the African kid perspective)

After some conversation about this topic, we have come to one conclusion:  it is favorable to experience as much of life as possible.  Eat SPKs, go to Zorba, try shwarma, run an obstacle course in the Old City, live in a flat with eleven young Jews, go to Israel, go to China, go to India, ride a camel, meet an Israeli soldier, play loads of Jewish Geography, go to university, study something interesting yet completely irrelevant to your future, or wear a crazy hat.  We do these on an almost daily basis, so we’re pretty much experts me thinks. Try it all, do it all.  What is life if you don’t experience it?  You grow up, follow societal expectations, and are nothing but a product of society.  However, if you grow up your own way and have your own adventures and try as much as you possibly can, then you are the product of your life.  To experience is to live, and to shelter your self away from the delicacies of the world (both culinary and not) is to essentially waste this one opportunity we are all given in this world.

I think I just figured out the Meaning of Life. I, kitty, have not yet reached the point of being able to relate the meaning of life to the wanting of SPK. Maybe I should try them? But then I’ll have to do one of those things that I said before that I would do for a SPK and I don’t really want to because its really late at night and summer just doesn’t happen in Jerusalem.

EXCEPT (yes, chevre, there is always an ‘except’), what happens when you develop an attachment to something and then are no longer allowed it?  A country you’ve fallen in love with and then have to leave?  A food you can only have when in one region of the world?  A view that can only be seen from one spot, one singular spot in the entirety of the huge planet we live on?  A person you have to leave, or who leaves you? Or, for those of us who live in a different hemisphere and don’t know what daylight savings is, it might be people that have changed your life, and only having a limited time to talk to them. To be with them, to soak up every possible morsel of their being. Having a limited time frame for friendships in an environment like that of shnat is probably one of its biggest downfalls. I can’t imagine a shnat without the Northerners, and all too soon, I know that this will be a reality, and that I will spend the rest of my young adult life trying to reconnect with these people but knowing that we might not ever be a platform for that kind of relationship. I’ve just reached that stage of existential crisis and am now wondering why I spent the last four hours in the flat making signs and sticking them on the walls, instead of living. I could have been exploring Judaism in one of the holiest places on earth! But I wasn’t. I was here. You were there. And we were listening to Beatles songs and wondering why Josh had to poop so many times today.

Is it worth it?  The pain and that sharp feeling of loss that comes from having something taken away from you, or even worse: having to leave something.  Is it worth having had it at all?  On one hand, the period spent grieving may outweigh the joy the thing brought you.  In its most extreme form, grieving may never end, and it has the potential to destroy lives.  One the other hand, the joy can outweigh the grief and feeling of loss.  If anything, we can take in and realize that in our most depressive states, there is something we miss that touched us so deeply that we feel that way.  Something touched us and gave us such joy and happiness or something that it was able to make so much of an impact on us.  Its people and places and things and times that make us realize just how precious each and every Sour Patch Kid is and how we should taste and savor the deliciousness in every minute. Yes, we are grieving and yes we are sad and yes we have a catch in our throat and a pang in our chest, but the knowledge that something was so detrimental to us in such a positive way can carry us through.  Using memory, it might even help to dwell on that pain.  There are a lot of reasons people say pain is good: it makes us stronger, it means we’re healthy enough to detect it, etc.  Another reason could be: Pain is good because it means that we were once healthy, happy, whole.  In this moment, with Dan making tea out of boredom and looking around at all the new signs depicting rules and regulations or even just the laundry roster, I’ll know that once there was a real purpose from nothing, from boredom and that pro-activism, in any sense would make the world a more colorful place where rosters are fun and everyone knows when they can do laundry. Yes, my arm is broken, but that means I had such a long time with full use of my arm, I could do so much with that arm?  Remember all those baskets I dunked, all those poems I wrote, all those hugs I gave…  Yes, I’m now sad that I am moving away from a close friend.  But I’m sad because that friend made me so happy, and I’m lucky to have had such a good friendship.  I miss friends. Yes, I miss SPKs, but I am so lucky to be privileged enough to live in a society that gives me such luxuries, so lucky to have experienced such a tasty treat, so lucky to be fed and happy enough to have frivolous things like SPKs in my life, so happy that I have nice little things in my life to miss and look forward to.

So although the pain of leaving might be hard, it is worth it.  It is always worth it.  Every bad thing, every pain means we were once happy. That we’ve grown and that we’ll continue to grow on this extensive journey called life.

Yes, Kitty doesn’t miss Sour Patch Kids, and doesn’t have the frustration and longing that Rebekkah now feels.  But she has never known this little luxury, has never had that experience.  Maybe Kitty feels more content with her life right now, but Rebekkah really has had more: more experience, more life (in this specific example of SPKs, not in general side-by-side comparison of our lives).  Content is an over statement, I don’t think one will ever be content. It’s human nature to want more, to be more, to love more (whatever that may mean to you) but one will never truly sit and look at ones life and say that they’re done. That, this is what they have done and that they’ll want to stop. No one should want to stop and that’s the beauty of happiness. More. Ah, the wonderful world of existentialisms. The solution to our problem, and maybe all problems ever:

Jeff needs to share his damn Sour Patch Kids.

A New Perspective

Today in history class we had to present a vision for the future of Judaism as seen from the view point of different sects of Jews in 1858.  I got Neo-Orthodoxy (or, as we call it today: Modern Orthodoxy).  One of the tasks was to create a two minute speech to present.  This is what I wrote:

The Jewish people are at a crossroads.  The old times are coming to an end and new times are starting.  There is an ever-increasing gap within Judaism, and something needs to be done.  We can’t keep continuing as we are; we need to change.  Western culture has integrated itself all over the world, and the only way to desist is to put ourselves back into the ghettos.  Do we want that?  No!  We want to live in the modern world, we are modern, and our traditional Judaism that we love is completely compatible with western culture.  We can be traditional Jews and live in the modern world.  It’s not a choice between Judaism and modernity; it’s a fusion of the two.  Judaism can be completely relevant and plausible in these times.

The world is changing, and we need to change with it.  We can’t live the way we always did.  We can’t live the life of Orthodox Jews separated in ghettos away from the rest of the world.  What good are we if we never interact with outside life?  What kind of life is that?  It is becoming more and more imperative that Jews everywhere see the modern world.  We can live in the modern world, surrounded by western culture, and still be Orthodox Jews.

However, we need to retain our Judaism.  We cannot assimilate completely, or we would lose our Judaism.  We can keep our beliefs, our traditions, and our values and live in the modern culture.  Life in the western world is possible for us.  We are able to be Orthodox Jews in the modern world.  What is the point of living in this beautiful world of opportunities and experiences and adventures if we seclude ourselves away?  There is a way to live in this modern world and retain our Orthodox customs:  we call it Neo-Orthodoxy.

Seven years ago, a community was established in Germany.  They were a separatist organization, separate from the masses but still a member of them.  There, they are keeping their strict Orthodox laws and practices, but live in the modern world.

Judaism is for the Jews of all ages and all times.  We can always be Jews, and we have to adapt.  In these separatist Neo-Orthodoxical communities, we can follow all our laws and live in the modern world.  It’s possible and it’s necessary.  Neo-Orthodox is the way to be Jewish now.

The world is at crossroads.  The old is ending and the new is coming.  We as Jews need to make the change.  Traditional Judaism in the modern world.  Not traditional Judaism in a fake, isolated community, nor fake Judaism (coughReformcough) in the modern world.  Neo-Orthodoxy, Traditional Judaism for today and tomorrow.

(That dig at Reform Judaism is directed towards the presented Reform Judaism of 1858, which is drastically different to Reform Judaism today, I'm not a secret spy for another movement, Netzer, don't worry)

Masa Building Future Leaders Conference

Let me preface this by saying a little about what we typically think of Masa.  Masa, a word meaning 'journey' in Hebrew, is an organization that helps young Jews from all around the world come to Israel on long term programs.  I am currently on a Masa program.  I, like hundreds and thousands of others here, wear my Masa backpack around the country.  I found Shnat Netzer through a Masa brochure, but other than that had never heard of Masa.  When signing up for Shnat, I received a scholarship to help pay my fees.  And that was it.
Here in Israel, Masa has put on countless events for us.  The Idan Rachel concert, a culture night, etc.  We usually don't enjoy them.  They just never appealed to us, and while we're thankful that Masa makes it possible for some of us to be here, we never really liked the events or the 'make aliyah or this year was pointless for you' vibe that we got.
A while ago, I signed up for another Masa event.  It was called Building Future Leadership and it seemed different and new and full of opportunities, so I figured why not?  At least a few of the other seven Americans were going to sign up as well.
In the end, I was the only one to sign up, and I went alone.  I got to the event early and spent an awkward amount of time standing there by myself wondering what to do.  I had an awkward lunch and then went up to my room. I had some awkward alone time and then my roommate walked in.  I tagged onto her and her friends for a bit, until the Discussion Groups, where I made some friends of my own.  The rest of that day and the rest of the week was jam-packed with so much amazing stuff, I knew I wouldn't be able to remember it all, so I wrote it down journal style, and here it is:

Taken from my phone notes: 'moment of silence, gay friendly j-ru'
Now: Let me explain, but first allow me story...
There once was a girl who hated writing, unless she had an inspiration.  She hated essays, but once she got an idea, she secretly loved them.  The reason this girl is now putting fancy Masa pen to college-ruled paper is because I am inspired.  So far, this conference has been eye-opening.  The Gala Event made us feel like real adults, people deserving of dignity and respect.  Hearing Shimon Peres (shaking his hand!), being given responsibility and forums and opportunities, having presentations; we're being treated like we are the leaders, not like some kids they can turn into leaders.  Our presentation this morning from Aharon something from PresenTense was incredible.  I'm actually learning real things!  Tangible ideas I can actually really truly use!  And the trip today to Neot Kdudim was perfect.  It was perfectly tailored to our age group and I learned a lot about expectations and incentives and and success and failure and how it all relates to a group dynamic.  The Young Leader's Panel was interesting but not too exciting.  The main thing I took away from that was to keep at your passion, and if you're right, you'll succeed.  Just before the YLP, however, we heard from a French participant.  A man shot up a temple or school (I forget) in France.  Three kids, ages 8, 6, and 3, died, as well as a Rabbi.  When he asked for a moment of silence, not a single person hesitated.  Not one Jew out of almost 500 didn't understand.  Every single one of us stood immediately, unified in a way no other people can be.  Another moment that made me proud of my peers is when a lady was talking about her fight to end segregation on buses and she was describing a poster on a bus of a family, but it was only men and boys.  She remarked that, 'Jerusalem must be very gay-friendly,' and everyone cheered.  Okay, maybe not everyone,  but the vast majority of the future leaders of the Jewish world (and the world at large) cheered for gay rights.  It was a surprisingly nice moment we all shared.  Common beliefs and all...  My discussion group is great.  I've found a niche and some friends there.  The madrich is so cool; he almost reminds me of Steve Carrell.  He's good at what he does, and he seems to really care about us and what we think about everything.  I love our group discussions; we have a lot of really intelligent people, some nerds, some pessimists, some loud types, but I like it.  We're got a constructive group.  I'm most definitely excited for the rest of the conference!


After this, I jotted down nine Life Questions that have been making me rethink everything about everything.
Later on in the conference, I wrote a bit I titled Thoughts on being The Reform Jew
I was always, "The Jew,"  amongst non-Jews.  It was a hard enough role to have, but being, "The Reform Jew," amongst Jews seems harder.  They scrutinize more, they know (or think they know) what it means and they care.  At first, before they knew, everything was normal.  They talked to me like we were all the same.  But now, after I proclaimed myself to be The Netzer Kid, they trip over certain issues.  I doubt that I've lost friends because of it, but it's that worried glance they give when they talk about their time as Shomer/et Negiah.  It's the awkwardness when they apologize for being loud in the morning when they woke up for Shacharit and I slept in.  I understand, and I want to help break that stereotype.  I van show them that Reform Jews are educated, serious, and dedicated and passionate Jews.  Reform Judaism is the right place for me and my Judaism to be at right now, and I'm proud to be part of this movement.  I want to show people who we are and educate them.
I can't wait 'til they hear I'm not Halakakly Jewish.


I never did share that little fact.  On a related note, there was an instance that made me uncomfortable later on.  A kid asked how religious we were on the program, and I said that we were Reform, so we had a diverse range.  But when he asked me where I fell on that range, I just said, "it's hard to explain," and left it at that.  Was I embarrassed or was it something else?  Is it better to go to services everyday but loathe it, or to go less and love it?  Anyway, I had another 'rant' about being Reform later on in a piece I call Questioning My Identity (In non-crisis form):
This conference has brought so much to me.  Information, skills, knowledge, resources, everything.  I have so much more now that I know will benefit me.  However, I also have more questions.  There are people here from almost every background, denomination, and idealogical standpoint.  It's amazing and I've learned so much being around them and listening to them, and I hope they've learned from me as well (oswoll?).  One thing has troubled me, however.  In our group discussion, every single person has agreed on intention being highly important.  Choice though knowledge and informed decision-making.   Equally important to the act is the 'why' behind that act.  That sounds great, doesn't it?  Well, it worries me.  Those ideas are the basis for Reform Judaism.  This is who we are, what we do, why we exist.  To us, these are Reform Judaism.  The troubling point is: if everyone agrees and lives according to these ideals, what is Reform Judaism?  Without our special ideology, we're just a bunch of Jews who chose to be less observant for one reason or another.  We're not as unique as we though we were.  Who are we then?  The idea of our movement is already integrated and permeated into most (not all, I concede, Heredi, Hasidic, etc.) of Judaism.  We exist as a movement, but everyone agrees and is on our side.  Where is the future of the Reform Movement?  Will we continue to exist?  Will we find new ideals to stand upon?  Or will we simply change our name to Jews Who Chose To Be Less Religiously Observant For One Reason Or Another?
Probably not.  JWCTBLROFOROA is a lot less catchy than URJ.


After this I wrote a note to remind myself to bring this up with both Etgar and the Netzer staff, which I will do on Sunday.

I think I've gotten across the main things I took away from the conference.  I'll maybe write later more, but now I have to go clean my room.

That's a lie.  I'll never clean my room.

Jerusalem Marathon

No, I didn't run the marathon.  But two of my friends did!  We took the long way around trying to find the finish line to meet them, and we got there early.  While Jemma, Jeff, Jake, and I were waiting for our friends to come in, we saw some interesting things.  We saw people that were blind, disabled, professional runners, IDF, mentally disabled, and with groups.  There was one man who came in relatively early compared to the rest; he was no younger than 80 years old.  Soon after a younger man came in and was immediately surrounded by camera crews.  We saw that he had some kind of disability, but he was quickly swarmed with people so we couldn't see much more.  Our friends came in after that and we went home almost right away; the weather had been changing too quickly to risk staying out longer.

When we first got there, we heard a helicopter.  I looked up and thought, 'oh look, a news station,' but when I saw the writing on the side, I found out it was a police copter.  Reality then hit me: this is a massive gathering of Israelis and Jews.  Most of Jerusalem was there, and many others from different places were there as well.  There are so many groups and peoples that are trying to harm Israel right now, this would be a perfect opportunity (Operation Cast Lead, anybody?).  The sheer amount of policemen present began to mean much more than crowd control.  It was comforting seeing that helicopter flying so low, but troubling that it was needed.

Seeing all the MDA rigs gave me crazy bad fomo, though.

In other news, Lady Gaga, Barack Obama, and Madonna all crossed the finish line as well today.

A week of Existential Crises and More

As seen in my last blog post, I've been thinking deep.  A new book has brought out my philosophical side, the tiyul continued to blow my mind in ways I didn't expect, which will be explained through Story, Pictures, Merch Ideas, and Other.

Story
On Saturday night, we had a cross-dressing Purim party with Noar Telem, Netzer Machon, and Noam.  It was lots of fun and filled with hot dogs and dancing and lap tag, and then washing machine drama ensued back at the Etgar Flat.  We got news that our tiyul had been changed around (understandably) so we all packed appropriately and got some sleep (stam, we barely slept at all).

We headed off to the bus at a disgustingly early hour of 8am.  One rest stop (where we bought ice cream, like always) and a few hours of sleep later, we had arrived.  We got off and met our tour guide and split off into two tiyul groups: boys and girls.  We learned the basics, made lunch, and got our first taste of using the great outside as a toilet.  The bus took us somewhere even more remote and dropped us off with our backpacks and left, leaving us on our own.  We walked and walked, had a peula and walked some more, and eventually made it to camp.  At camp, the girls made dinner (burgers, pasta, and salad), the boys cleaned up, and I made the fire.  It was indisputably the best fire anyone has ever made on Shnat, and even the boys agreed.  We had an asefah, and played Truth or Dare for hours eating junk food and trying to distance ourselves from the creepy medic/guard.  Although I don't even want to talk about how Shmirah went, I do want to mention the 'sandstorm.'  Basically, I was awake at 4am running around tying down wind covers and stopping the tents from blowing away, all while being pelted with sand.

The next day, we got to navigate ourselves around the desert more independently.  While splitting the boys and girls into two teams caused many heated arguments and ill-feelings, we as girls bonded so much.  We even made matching gimel friendship bracelets to commemorate the time we spent together.  We started that day with a hike to the top of a mountain and learned how to navigate from there.  After a few distance mistakes and walkie-talkie failures, we finally made it to our destination: lunch break.  We navigated some more and got to camp, where we ended the hike with some stretching.  We had dinner and built a fire, and then our guide took us on a solo experience, where Naomi broke her arm and I did some more deep thinking, to be explained later.  We all had happy time together sitting around the fire and talking, and then some more Shmirah drama went down and the night ended badly.

The next morning was tense, but we split up quickly into different groups and started to hike again.  We were one hundred percent on our own this time, with only one madrich with us, but who was supposed to stay silent if we made a mistake.  I was with the three slowest walkers in the group, which was difficult for me.  It was as hard for me to slow down as it was for them to try to keep up, but we eventually made it to the breakfast spot first.  We had breakfast together out in the middle of nowhere and learned about filtering water, and then walked on.  Yet another section started with a huge climb, but it soon leveled out and was all easy from there.  Most of our journey was interrupted with frequent walkie-talkie chatter and hearing Noa speak American-Hebrew.  We finally finally finally made it Sdey Boker.  We handed back our equipment and received our certificates of graduation from a Desert Survival Course.  And then it was shower time... until we found out we had no hot water.  About ten minutes of desperation ensued, and then we learned that in order to get hot water in the desert of a country that has a severe water shortage, we had to run the shower for fifteen minutes first.  Having not showered in days, having lived in the desert and rolled around in the mud, and having had hiked for twenty kilometers, we decided that we would be really careful with the recycling to make up for the fact that we were wasting all that water to take hot showers.  Very un-Netzer of us, we know, but we were desperate.  We had yaldasefot and drank tea and coffee and discussed the pros and cons of all the boys; we decided we hated them all just for being boys, but we love them all for it too.  We had a peula on Sderot and another on the development of the Negev, and then it was dinner time.  After dinner we had a maamad which inspired more deep thinking, and then some frivolous guitar playing, food eating, snack stashing time that gives Netzer our stereotype.  We stayed up late singing and talking together, and then Kitty and I went to prank the boy's room.  Unfortunately, the door was too loud and we were caught, so we ran back to our room.  We got a visit from Jeff telling us not to try it again, so of course we did.  We threw a note into their bathroom window and ran back.  Alyson had fallen asleep on top of our key so it took us a while to find it, but then we finally got some sleep.

The next morning we all packed and got on a bus to Yerucham (party city, woo!).  We learned about it's controversial beginnings (more deep thinking) and played around a bit.  We met other Americans and had falafels and saw the youth center there.  We visited a machtesh and then headed home, stopping on the way for a maamad and for even more humuus.

Today, I accompanied Naomi to the hospital for her x ray.  First, we debated the weather.  In the morning I was convinced it was summer already and insisted upon wearing shorts, until I heard the temperature in Fahrenheit.  I gave in and change into jeans and we set off.  We were told to go to Ammunition Hill, so we did.  Emily was certain of one direction, so we got on the train that way, but I pointed out again that she was wrong so we got off and got on again the other way.  When we were almost there, the train was stopped and we had to wait a while.  We didn't know why, but we were stuck there for about ten minutes.  We finally got to our stop and looked around, but we couldn't find the clinic.  We finally just caught a taxi to get there on time.  We waited a while for her to see a doctor, waited for her to get an x ray, waited for the x ray to develop, waited for her to get the cast.  At the cast 'queue' (I can call it that because I was there with Brits), there was almost a fight about who's turn it was.  While waiting, we saw a few people walk in perfectly fine, without a limp or anything, and be rolled out on wheelchairs in leg casts.  Curious...  Anyway, Naomi got her cast, I got a pretzel, and we went home.  When we found the train station, We checked the map: Ammunition Hill is the exact opposite direction from where we went from.   On the way back we got gimel beads and I got earrings.
We got home and made ourselves lunch and coffee and changed into even warmer clothes.  Dan A told us that a female soldier had been stabbed on the train that morning, which explained when the train had stopped for a while.  As of now, the man has not been identified or caught, and there is no other information.
We made beautiful gimel bracelets with the hemp and beads that all seven of us now wear.  An HUC student came and taught us about the events that led up to today and the current events that are happening now.  Naomi made us all a lovely pasta dinner, Dan A and I fought to the death, and we played Mash.

Pictures
These barely represent even a minuscule amount of the memories I have.  No plethora of pictures could do justice to what I will remember from this tiyul.

Just climbed a mountain

Delirious with accomplishment

Cooking in the desert wearing a Beduin style head covering and party shades

Josh, Jake, Dan A, Dan R, and me: we made it to the top!

Looking out over the machtesh, I'm fifth from the right

Etgar 2012 at the machtesh

Merch Ideas

1.  Gimel spot sweaters
2. Tiyul Darom shirts (might actually happen!)
3. Yerucham, party city woo! t-shirts
4. 'I pooped in the desert' shirts
5. 'Party *rock* is in the house tonight' shirt
6. Sweatshirt with all the 'remember that time when...'s
7. Gimel spot sweatpants
8. Gimel bracelets (a reality!)
9. Yaldasefah t-shirts

I can't say if this is a good thing or not, but this is only a small amount of the ideas I came up with.

Other
The Parts I Purposely Left Out:

• The Fighter Jets:  During the entire duration of the tiyul, we saw fighter jets and helicopters.  From day one in the morning until leaving Yerucham, we saw the air force flying over us in a westwardly direction: towards Gaza.  We knew there were increased attacks into Israel and we knew Israel would not just let that stand, so we watched the jets fly over us in their solemn groups of threes.  Knowing that they were there to protect us was comforting, yes, but knowing that we needed to be protected was worrying.  I wonder if we would had been this concerned if we had seen no jets.  Being so close to 'all the action' was mind blowing.  During a peace maamad, we sang all the songs we have, all the petitions and pleas for peace and freedom, all while standing in a war.  The sounds of people praying for Shalom should drown out the sounds of the jets, not the other way around.  In fact, people singing Shalom should end the need for the jets.  Standing in a circle of my friends, wrapped in a blanket, looking out over the desert at night, looking at the moon, the stars, the clouds, listening to the guitar, hearing my friends and myself pray for peace under the drone of the jets.  What does praying for peace even mean if the jets are still flying?  Does it mean more or less?  Who is in that airplane, why is it going towards Gaza?  Is is recon or carrying weapons?  Who is in that jet?  Whose son, brother, boyfriend is in there?  Whose son, brother, boyfriend is he going to attack?  Shalom, shalom, tikvateynu.
• The Solo Experience: One night we spent a good forty minutes out in the desert completely alone. Isolated not only from camp, but from each other.  We had spent all day every day together for quite a while, never really getting alone time.  But now we had the entire desert to ourselves.  I sat and watched my friends walk on without me.  After Naomi broke her arm, there was silence.  I could hear the jets, I could always hear the jets, but I couldn't hear anybody talking, laughing, giggling, coughing.  Just my own thoughts.  For forty minutes I could think.  Think without thinking about it.  Without aiming myself towards creating a solution to something.  Without directing myself towards anything.  I could just think.  I found myself drifting quite easily from very superficial topics to very deep topics.  From how my hair felt to how I felt about those planes over my head.  They came and went and came again.  Forty minutes of solid thinking to myself and I had accomplished nothing; it was perfect.  As a result, I have decided to give myself some time to think freely without any productivity often.
• How I Feel About the Situation:  Oh man, I have a headache already.  What do I think about it all?  I think too much.  Hamas needs to stop, obviously.  A terrorist organization that uses fear to control and manipulate others should stop sending rockets into Israel.  That one's easy.  But if it's not Hamas, and the Jihad is not connected to them at all (which is highly debated right now), then they, as governing power in Gaza, need to reign them in.  Whether or not they are the parent organization, Hamas has the responsibility to stop what the Jihad is doing.  And how should Israel act?  You know the phrase: 2 Jews, 3 opinions.  I think that Israel most definitely has the right to defend itself, especially from Hamas, the Jihad, and Iran.  But to what extent?  Is it okay to kill a civilian as a by-product of killing five top terrorist officials?  Is it okay to strike a kindergarden if there's a weapon factory underneath it?  Is it okay?  Is it moral?  Is it Jewish?  As of right now, I agree with the actions Israel has taken.  Although I am sure I do not know everything there is to know, I think Israel has acted correctly.  Tensions are building and no one knows for sure what will happen next; anything from another Cast Lead type operation to an attack on Iran to a massive air strike has been predicted.  I don't know.  Where will I be in a month?  In Jerusalem, or back in California because WW3 has broken out?  Would Israel attacking Gaza cause a major war?  Would Israel attacking Iran be beneficial?  How would the US respond?  How should they?  When did I start referring to Israel as 'we' and the US as 'they'?  Regardless, I believe that Israel has the right to defend itself in any reasonable way.
• Any other topics you'd like me to cogitate on and write about?

"Everyone wants to create a better world."

But do we?  Or do we want to create a better world for ourselves? Maybe that's the difference between societally accepted 'good' and 'bad.'  If a person attempts to create a better world for himself, he is deemed bad, setting aside the needs of his community and humanity at large for his own selfish wants.  But if he tries to create a better world for a group of people or for the whole of humanity, he is considered good.  The mass of society decides depending on whether or not the attempts of that person is beneficial to all of them, and the answer to that question determines the morality of that person.
Alternatively, it might be more individual.  What you are doing does not advance my life in a any way, and thus it is bad.  It becomes even worse if you dare to impede my attempts to make my life better.  However, if what you are doing makes me happy or helps me progress, then it is good.
Two men are competing for a job.  One thinks outside the box and uses unconventional methods to win the job, the other goes the traditional route.  To the second man, the first is bad.  To the first, the second is merely and obstacle to get around, maybe considered bad because he is a roadblock on his way to success. To society, the first is innovative.  He may be bad because he is undermining accepted methods and thus giving himself more of an advantage over the second.  The second is good, the underdog.
The the difference between good or bad was communally decided, the first would be slightly less moral than the second, but neither would be wholly bad because the decision will not directly affect society (in a normal job), and thus society wouldn't have enough to care about to make such a decision.
However, as a general rule, we as people tend to root for the underdog.  Why is that?  It may very well be because we feel that everyone deserves an equal chance at whatever it is they want, and so we support those who started out with less.  Basketball team 1 is in a losing streak, team 2 has a winning record.  Putting team allegiances aside, people will cheer for team 1, hoping that their support will bring them up to team 2's level, creating an equal playing field.
Why is it that humanity wants all situations to be equal?  Are we all just inherently bleeding hearts?  We all feel compassion for everybody, and everybody deserves to get what they need, despite who they are and what they do?  Despite their label of good or bad?
Or is it because we feel wronged in some way?  Every person feels that he did not get what he had coming to him at some point in his life, and thus empathizes with the underdog.  I didn't get that job offer, so I understand what it is to be lesser, and therefore I empathize with team 1.
And what about those who support team 2?  It might be because they have some primal want to be the winner, and the obvious way to do so is to line themselves up with the team that will most likely win.  In the previous situation, where a person feels wronged by life, they may want to right that wrong.  They can make up for their lack of what they feel they deserve by aligning themselves with team 2.  Therefore they receive the satisfaction of knowing they picked the winning team, and it makes up for losing the earlier opportunity.
That style of thought wants to create better world for themselves.  They either don't even consider or don't care about the inequality between the teams.  Their better world is only for them.  For them it would be more beneficial to advance themselves than to advance society as a whole.  Maybe it's true.  A person can make a tangible difference to themselves more than they can change the world.  Maybe trying to change the entire world takes too much effort for too much disappointment.  It's near impossible in the world we live in to make a name for ourselves, to change societal norms and make the world better.  So why not spend the resources and time we have putting efforts towards making our own lives better?
On the other hand, the above seems selfish.  If we have the time and resources, we should put them towards helping everyone together.  Someone might need the help more than I do, and I should get them to my own level and form there advance together as a community.

In Israel right now, there are bombs falling all over the south.  Sderot, Beer Sheva, all places we are going to next week.  Of course, I see this as bad.  It is harming the world I live in and is doing nothing to make changes for the better.  But Hamas thinks the act is good.  It really is bettering their own community.  We are both thinking from a individualistic point of view, voting for team 2.  I want them to stop, which would make my life and my community better but not theirs, and they want to bomb us away, which would obviously harm us and help them.  At this level, neither of us are thinking from a communal point of view.  However, in a broader view, Hamas seems bad for harming human life (you could argue that Israel is doing the same, but for the sake of this argument, let's look at the situation in the simple viewpoint).  At this level, everyone believes Hamas is bad.  We all want the same thing.  We all vote for team 1 here.

So which is better, supporting team 1 or team 2?  Assuming your support made a difference, which is morally right?  Which is better?
Technically, they're both better.  One is better for the individual or for a specific community, and the other is better for humanity as a whole.
But when we ask for an answer as to which should we choose, we run into a paradox.  If somebody else asks me which they should choose, I would advise them to act for the community.  Because this benefits me, meaning I am choosing to act for myself.  I could advise that person to act only for them, but that wouldn't help me or anybody at all.  But telling them to act for everyone is really just me acting for myself.
So is either good or bad?  How can we put such definite titles on such infinite concepts?  How can anyone judge the actions of another?  Anything that doesn't benefit yourself specifically could be considered bad, but anything that you do for yourself, you do because you believe it is good for you in some way.
Does this mean there are no absolute truths when it comes to actions?  Putting aside the term Absolute Truth as it applies to beliefs in a deity, deities, religion, the universe, etc, it simply cannot be used for morals.  A common example people use is that murder is wrong.  But if the option is between killing one person and that person killing multiple others, then that absolute truth is wrong.  If there is a serial killer-rapist, a little girl, and one gun, most people would advocate for the girl using to gun to escape the murderer-rapist rather than the murderer-rapist using the gun on the girl, and then subsequently on many other girls.  The best-case scenario is the girl using the gun to escape without killing the man, but it might not be possible.  Thus forcing one to commit a murder, which is universally accepted as wrong.  However, it has to be done, so it is wrong.  Therefore there is no right or wrong.  If something wrong has to be done, it should be done in the most moral way possible?  But according to who's morals?  A very male-dominated society might value the murderer-rapist over the girl, whereas the majority of societies today would value the girl over him.  If the whole of humanity acted this way, it would essentially be a democracy, which most of us in western/majority society accepts as good.  The problem occurs when you consider the values of the minority.  If the whole of society accepts and integrates the views of the majority, then they are voting for team 2 and ignoring the minority, the underdog.  Thus democracy is thinking individualistically, which is not good for society as a whole.  But accepting and integrating the morals and values of the minority would anger the majority.  Choosing either team 1 or team 2 would not make logical or moral sense here.
Basically, choosing team 1 or team 2 is wrong and right.  There is no such thing as wrong or right, good or bad.  There is no way to lead a moral life, because your morals may impede the morals of others.

So how should we live our lives, how do we create a better world?  The answer depends on who you ask.  You can't ask yourself.  You can't ask me  You can't ask anyone else.  We're all too biased.  Every single decision we make is wrong, but there is no wrong.  There is no right.  Thus every decision we make.  Everything we are, everything that exists just is.

The sounds of the Etgar flat at 4:30 am

• Washing machine having a seizure
• Soft hum of the heater
• Everybody (except me) coughing from the Plague
• A few people taking late night trips to the bathroom
• Sounds of a girl tapping her thoughts out to a friend online

Purim in Israel

How did I spend Purim in Israel?  That's a very good question.
Why do I always start my blog posts with questions?  I like to pretend people are wondering about what I do here, and maybe these are the questions they would ask.

Anyway, with regards to Purim, we celebrated two days here.  The first is for the entire world except Jerusalem, and the second is just for Jerusalem.  We started celebrating, however, on Tuesday.  Our group planned and put on a party for the kindergardeners here at Hebrew Union College.  We pre-made instruments (paper cups taped together with rice inside) and gave them to the kids to decorate with glitter and feathers.  After, we all came together and sang Purim songs and played around with the instruments and costumes.  For this day, I was Superman, wearing my Superman boxers and Naomi's Superman shirt.

The next Purim-related activity we had was Kef Madrichim, when Noa brought us materials to make plaster masks with.  They turned out really well, until we made the mistake of placing them to dry on the staircase railing, so they all fell and broke.

Next was Wednesday night.  In downtown Jerusalem there was a protest/celebration happening.  It was for woman's rights, so lots of woman stood up and read from the megillah.  Men could support the cause by dressing like a woman, which every man on Etgar did.  Of the 5 boys, 3 were wearing my clothes- Dan R wears my jeans better than I do.  We hung out downtown for a while before heading back home.  I changed into my costume, a boy.  I wore Jeff's big saggy jeans, my boxers, Josh's shirt, and Dan's hat, and finished it all off with a little eyeliner mustache.  We left, caught shirut to Tel Aviv, and were off.  After a while of walking around Tel Aviv in the approaching darkness, we finally found our destination: Florentin.  Now, if you remember (or if I ever even mentioned it), Florentin was the place I went to for New Years.  It's an area that had a lot of cheap student housing and a lot of bars, so at first people started congregating there for that.  But it grew and now on every major event there is a mass exodus for all the young people of Israel to Florentin to celebrate.  Purim was no exception.  When we got there, there was a plethora of teenagers and young adults and some older adults, all in costume with a beer in hand.
We met up with some friends and then got so excited by the Mexican food place, that a friend and I had to go bet burritos.  After eating the most delicious burritos in the world, a few of us decided to go see other parts of Tel Aviv.  We rented those green bikes and set off, alternating between being lost and having Dan talk to every single police officer on the way to ask for directions.  We found the beach and rode along the beach for a while, which was absolutely beautiful.  Eventually we stopped and docked the bikes, and walked down onto the beach.   After watching the waves and talking for a while, we got up to go back to Yafo.  We found the shuk party, and then another street party where our friends were.  We got on a shirut and went home from there.

Yesterday was Purim in Jerusalem, so we all dressed up (yet again, I went in a home-made toga for this one), and went to services at Kol Haneshama, the reform synagogue here.  The kriyat megillah was loud and crazy, with people literally shaking the building at every mention of Haman.  After, we stayed and met the Reform youth there to have pizza and then help set up for their party the next day.  From there, a group left to go to yet another party, while some of us went home to get some sleep for once.

Purim here was amazing, with costumes and singing everywhere all the time.  It's amazing to see the entire country, almost every single citizen, dressing up and getting into the spirit and celebrating our heritage.

Coincidence? (I'm feeling very nationalistic right now)

A while ago, the governing body of an area tries to rid the world of Jews.

Later, a new governing body of the same region is arming itself to attack the Jewish state.

The first attempt didn't succeed due to the courage of a few brave Jews, and this is the reason we celebrate Purim today.

The second attempt, no matter how violent and destructive, will not succeed to kill the Jewish spirit.  I don't know about the buildings and human lives and casualties and cities and land, but I do know that it will not kill the Jewish spirit, it will not rid the world of Jews.

As depressing as it is for anybody to look into the future and predict how this situation will end, we can do so with the knowledge that we prevail, we live on.  Over and over again, we succeed to continue.  I am sitting here on the couch in a Superman costume covered in glitter and glue and feathers with a kid's song stuck in my head and hamantaschen in my stomach because of it.