Let me preface this by saying a little about what we typically think of Masa. Masa, a word meaning 'journey' in Hebrew, is an organization that helps young Jews from all around the world come to Israel on long term programs. I am currently on a Masa program. I, like hundreds and thousands of others here, wear my Masa backpack around the country. I found Shnat Netzer through a Masa brochure, but other than that had never heard of Masa. When signing up for Shnat, I received a scholarship to help pay my fees. And that was it.
Here in Israel, Masa has put on countless events for us. The Idan Rachel concert, a culture night, etc. We usually don't enjoy them. They just never appealed to us, and while we're thankful that Masa makes it possible for some of us to be here, we never really liked the events or the 'make aliyah or this year was pointless for you' vibe that we got.
A while ago, I signed up for another Masa event. It was called Building Future Leadership and it seemed different and new and full of opportunities, so I figured why not? At least a few of the other seven Americans were going to sign up as well.
In the end, I was the only one to sign up, and I went alone. I got to the event early and spent an awkward amount of time standing there by myself wondering what to do. I had an awkward lunch and then went up to my room. I had some awkward alone time and then my roommate walked in. I tagged onto her and her friends for a bit, until the Discussion Groups, where I made some friends of my own. The rest of that day and the rest of the week was jam-packed with so much amazing stuff, I knew I wouldn't be able to remember it all, so I wrote it down journal style, and here it is:
Taken from my phone notes: 'moment of silence, gay friendly j-ru'
Now: Let me explain, but first allow me story...
There once was a girl who hated writing, unless she had an inspiration. She hated essays, but once she got an idea, she secretly loved them. The reason this girl is now putting fancy Masa pen to college-ruled paper is because I am inspired. So far, this conference has been eye-opening. The Gala Event made us feel like real adults, people deserving of dignity and respect. Hearing Shimon Peres (shaking his hand!), being given responsibility and forums and opportunities, having presentations; we're being treated like we are the leaders, not like some kids they can turn into leaders. Our presentation this morning from Aharon something from PresenTense was incredible. I'm actually learning real things! Tangible ideas I can actually really truly use! And the trip today to Neot Kdudim was perfect. It was perfectly tailored to our age group and I learned a lot about expectations and incentives and and success and failure and how it all relates to a group dynamic. The Young Leader's Panel was interesting but not too exciting. The main thing I took away from that was to keep at your passion, and if you're right, you'll succeed. Just before the YLP, however, we heard from a French participant. A man shot up a temple or school (I forget) in France. Three kids, ages 8, 6, and 3, died, as well as a Rabbi. When he asked for a moment of silence, not a single person hesitated. Not one Jew out of almost 500 didn't understand. Every single one of us stood immediately, unified in a way no other people can be. Another moment that made me proud of my peers is when a lady was talking about her fight to end segregation on buses and she was describing a poster on a bus of a family, but it was only men and boys. She remarked that, 'Jerusalem must be very gay-friendly,' and everyone cheered. Okay, maybe not everyone, but the vast majority of the future leaders of the Jewish world (and the world at large) cheered for gay rights. It was a surprisingly nice moment we all shared. Common beliefs and all... My discussion group is great. I've found a niche and some friends there. The madrich is so cool; he almost reminds me of Steve Carrell. He's good at what he does, and he seems to really care about us and what we think about everything. I love our group discussions; we have a lot of really intelligent people, some nerds, some pessimists, some loud types, but I like it. We're got a constructive group. I'm most definitely excited for the rest of the conference!
After this, I jotted down nine Life Questions that have been making me rethink everything about everything.
Later on in the conference, I wrote a bit I titled Thoughts on being The Reform Jew
I was always, "The Jew," amongst non-Jews. It was a hard enough role to have, but being, "The Reform Jew," amongst Jews seems harder. They scrutinize more, they know (or think they know) what it means and they care. At first, before they knew, everything was normal. They talked to me like we were all the same. But now, after I proclaimed myself to be The Netzer Kid, they trip over certain issues. I doubt that I've lost friends because of it, but it's that worried glance they give when they talk about their time as Shomer/et Negiah. It's the awkwardness when they apologize for being loud in the morning when they woke up for Shacharit and I slept in. I understand, and I want to help break that stereotype. I van show them that Reform Jews are educated, serious, and dedicated and passionate Jews. Reform Judaism is the right place for me and my Judaism to be at right now, and I'm proud to be part of this movement. I want to show people who we are and educate them.
I can't wait 'til they hear I'm not Halakakly Jewish.
I never did share that little fact. On a related note, there was an instance that made me uncomfortable later on. A kid asked how religious we were on the program, and I said that we were Reform, so we had a diverse range. But when he asked me where I fell on that range, I just said, "it's hard to explain," and left it at that. Was I embarrassed or was it something else? Is it better to go to services everyday but loathe it, or to go less and love it? Anyway, I had another 'rant' about being Reform later on in a piece I call Questioning My Identity (In non-crisis form):
This conference has brought so much to me. Information, skills, knowledge, resources, everything. I have so much more now that I know will benefit me. However, I also have more questions. There are people here from almost every background, denomination, and idealogical standpoint. It's amazing and I've learned so much being around them and listening to them, and I hope they've learned from me as well (oswoll?). One thing has troubled me, however. In our group discussion, every single person has agreed on intention being highly important. Choice though knowledge and informed decision-making. Equally important to the act is the 'why' behind that act. That sounds great, doesn't it? Well, it worries me. Those ideas are the basis for Reform Judaism. This is who we are, what we do, why we exist. To us, these are Reform Judaism. The troubling point is: if everyone agrees and lives according to these ideals, what is Reform Judaism? Without our special ideology, we're just a bunch of Jews who chose to be less observant for one reason or another. We're not as unique as we though we were. Who are we then? The idea of our movement is already integrated and permeated into most (not all, I concede, Heredi, Hasidic, etc.) of Judaism. We exist as a movement, but everyone agrees and is on our side. Where is the future of the Reform Movement? Will we continue to exist? Will we find new ideals to stand upon? Or will we simply change our name to Jews Who Chose To Be Less Religiously Observant For One Reason Or Another?
Probably not. JWCTBLROFOROA is a lot less catchy than URJ.
After this I wrote a note to remind myself to bring this up with both Etgar and the Netzer staff, which I will do on Sunday.
I think I've gotten across the main things I took away from the conference. I'll maybe write later more, but now I have to go clean my room.
That's a lie. I'll never clean my room.
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