A Milestone

Here it is. The first pasta I've ever made.
I cooked the pasta and made the sauce completely from scratch.
It's sitting right here.
But I'm afraid to eat it.
In a few minutes, if I haven't managed to poison myself, I'll let you know how it went.

A few terrifying moments later

Well, I'm alive.
At first, I thought I had done a pretty decent job.
The more I ate, however, the more wrong I was.
By the end of the bowl, I was basically eating soggy pasta and crushed tomato.
Let's just say that if anyone needs a cook, I should be the last on your list.

Recipe:

• 1. Put water on to boil.

• 2. Forget you did that and come back after most of it has evaporated.

• 3. Boil more water.

• 4. Look for tomato paste.  When you don't find any, give up and decide to melt cheese.

• 5. Pour a whole bag of pasta into the water.

• 6. Put a sauce pan on a burner, pour oil into it.

• 7. Hope that you're supposed to put oil in sauce.

• 8. Cut onions and put them in oil pan.

• 9. Find tomato paste, realize it's moldy.

• 10. Find a closed can of tomato paste but no can opener

• 11. Briefly debate just scooping out the moldy bits of the other tomato paste.

• 12. Remember that you don't like food poisoning and go back to the closed can.

• 13. Go at it like a mad-man with a sharp knife from the Sharp Knife drawer.

• 14. Realize that the onions are burning and hectically scoop tomato paste out of the can with a spoon onto the pan, splattering yourself and the pasta with oil.

• 15. Stir.

• 16. Check on the pasta and find there's no water left, turn the heat all the way down.

• 17. Stir the sauce a bit more.

• 18. Add some more onions.

• 19. Remember that Alyson usually puts spices in her sauce; look through spice drawer to see what is handy

• 20. Find and add oregano, that's usually in a tomato sauce, right?

• 21. Add a bit of black pepper to taste.

• 22. Use an unnecessarily excessive amount of pans to drain the pasta.

• 23. Become disheartened when the pasta holds it shape, but hopeful again when it goes back to normal pasta texture after a bit of wiggling.

• 24. Take the sauce off the stove.

• 25. Scoop some pasta, using yet another utensil, into a bowl.

• 26. Mix up the proportions and add too much sauce for the amount of pasta.

• 27. Take a picture.

• 28. Blog about it.

• 29. Eat.

• 30. Try not to think about all the dishes you have to go wash.

?בטאבון